Contact – The Missing Link
A Workshop to Create Better Relationships Through Better Contact
Why is CONTACT the ‘Missing Link’?
It is not possible to experience anything in life without some form of contact. Every experience that you have is based in contact with something or someone. The feeling of being connected can come in the physical, mental, emotional, and/or spiritual form. Relationship can only occur through some form of contact.
Good contact with others is fundamental to a good life. The ‘quality’ of your experience in life is based on your capacity to be able to have real contact with someone – to know how to initiate it, sustain it, and withdraw from it when you want to.
People often try to force or resist contact. They may try to force themselves upon others or situations in order to meet their own needs or they may withdraw and try to operate alone, disconnected. Neither of these work well and they create even further problems. When you can maintain real contact with a person, solutions are possible that would not be seen otherwise.
Problems with contact originated in childhood. Children often experienced dysfunction through not enough contact, too much contact or inappropriate contact. If you suffered in any of these you understand the effect that they had. Many people have difficulty recovering from contact issues and as a result they have problems with current relationships regarding boundaries and issues about trusting themselves and others.
Examples of ‘not enough contact’ – Deprivation in any form – not enough love, connection, being held, food, nurturing, not feeling seen or heard, too much time alone, not getting the help you need, being talked ‘at’ instead of talked to.
Examples of ‘too much contact’ – over stimulation, fighting, yelling, screaming, violence in the home, not enough rest, constant interruption, not enough privacy, too much pressure.
Examples of ‘inappropriate contact’ – unwanted sexuality, brutality, mean and hurtful behavior, hostility, shame, blame, inappropriate roles. (e.g. the child needing to parent the parent)
These problems from the past do not interfere in your current relationships once you have the ability to fulfill relationships now. Your coping mechanisms are replaced by real skill in the course and you see immediate results.
Here are the indicators that show whether there is a problem with contact for you.
Your basic needs in life are not being met
Your needs for companionship and love are not being met
Feeling discontent – that you don’t want what you have now
Boundary issues with others (you tend to not respect boundaries with them or they are not respecting boundaries with you, or both)
Feeling disconnected from others or life itself
Feeling that life has no purpose or that it is not worthwhile
Unusual fear for yourself or others that seems out of proportion
Anxiety
Feeling that nothing is right
Easily irritable
Ongoing relationship problems with parents or siblings
Feeling depressed
Addictions
Thoughts of not wanting to go on
A pattern of relationships breaking down at work, in friendships, or in close relationships
Not feeling able to be in intimate relationships with others physically or emotionally
Unable to trust yourself to know what to do and/or unable to fully trust another
Loneliness
Isolation
Chronically fatigued
If any of these are present you will receive great benefit from the course. Healing occurs naturally as one gets past fear and experiences real contact with others.
The amount of contact that we have with objects and events is significant too. It has an effect on how we feel in our life. Too much TV, not enough recreation, too much food, not enough movement, too little touch, not enough companionship, too much arguing, not enough love – it all affects us. We go out of balance based on the quality and quantity of contact that we are having. This includes people, situations, environments, substances, thoughts, and physical things.
If a person had good contact as a child there may still be areas where they do not feel fulfilled. They may have great ability at their job and at the same time have problems with emotional intimacy. Someone else may be a wonderful lover but unable to keep a job. A person may have deep experiences spiritually but not be able to have money. This is not anyone’s fault. Our environment created the conditions and our parents may have had it worse or the same as we did when they were children. Their ability to feel connected was interfered with too.
People have tried to force or resist contact, change themselves, change someone else, live without others or even commit suicide to get away from the suffering of too much stimulus or not enough feeling in their connection.
With mastery in this Course one learns to be able to initiate the quality of contact they want to have with someone at any time for whatever purpose they want. They learn how to sustain it through problems and upsets in themselves and in others, and they learn how to end contact when it is needed without injuring their self or another. They know how to bring balance into their life for work and rest and love and fun. Come and join us. Create a better life for you and for all the ones you love.
Upcoming Courses:
To Be Announced
