Anjali’s Blog

The Power of Real Help

Monday, October 6th, 2014

No matter where we go or who we are with, help is a fundamental part of every relationship that we have.  We have the help of others to create, make, transport and provide all of the things that we take for granted every day. Services, food, transportation, daily needs and all of the things that our economy provides is based on some kind of service.  If you are involved in any money-making endeavour, you are providing something for money.  In families, communities, cities, countries and internationally, help and services are provided and an exchange is made.

In the realm of the absolute (Divine Truth) the individual that you are has never required help.  However, because we are also having a human experience, each individual experiences receiving or giving as an integral part of all relationships.

Here are some of the problems that people have regarding getting help and giving help.

When someone tries to help you, are you…..

  • unable or unwilling to directly ask someone for the help that you want or need
  • not understanding what kinds of help are available
  • trying to do life all by yourself – lonely – isolated – not enjoying the company of others
  • feeling shame, guilt or feeling unworthy of help
  • resistance to being someone who needs help or wants it
  • hitting a block inside of you when you try to ask
  • getting angry if you feel that you want something or need something
  • thinking that other people can’t do it as well as you can or that they will do it wrong
  • feeling that others expect something or you owe them something if they help you
  • feeling victim to your circumstances
  • feeling despondent – that there is nothing you can do to change something
  • a feeling of ‘enduring it’
  • suspicion of others if they try or offer to help you – cannot trust them
  • discounting someone’s praise or compliments
  • resenting that others have what you do not have
  • feeling like a failure – that you won’t make it
  • comparing yourself to others
  • chronic concern and worry about money and not having enough of it
  • pushing others away or resisting them if they want to help you

When you try to help others ….

  • you get negative indicators in yourself or from others when you try to help them (they or you get angry, disappointed, blaming or pain of some sort)
  • it appears that they don’t appreciate your help
  • they are critical of you or what you are doing when you try
  • they resist you
  • they tell you that you are not doing enough or you feel you are not doing enough
  • feeling that you are helping others but do not get anything in return
  • you are helping others but your own life does not work
  • although you work hard you are unable to ‘climb the ladder’ or make progress in your own estimation
  • can’t keep a job easily or you get bad reviews at your job
  • having problems with your boss or co-workers
  • hard to make friends
  • can’t get people to do what you want them to do
  • don’t feel that others respect you
  • feel like you want to get help from others but you don’t want to give them any
  • giving help feels like a burden or an imposition
  • guilt or remorse about not giving help or helping others more in your life

If you notice any of these in your life you are probably blocked somewhere in the realm of help.  The flow of giving and receiving becomes restricted. It is common for people to have some degree of dysfunction with regards to the subject of help and that is why we work on this subject in Living from Truth.  It is fundamental to relationship and joy in our lives.  

Call now to enrol in Living from Truth at 604-881-6806 or enrol online by clicking  … here..

Contact – The Missing Link

Thursday, July 24th, 2014

Contact – The Missing Link

A Workshop to Create Better Relationships Through Better Contact

Why is CONTACT the ‘Missing Link’?

It is not possible to experience anything in life without some form of contact.  Every experience that you have is based in contact with something or someone.  The feeling of being connected can come in the physical, mental, emotional, and/or spiritual form.  Relationship can only occur through some form of contact. 

Good contact with others is fundamental to a good life.  The ‘quality’ of your experience in life is based on your capacity to be able to have real contact with someone – to know how to initiate it, sustain it, and withdraw from it when you want to. 

People often try to force or resist contact.  They may try to force themselves upon others or situations in order to meet their own needs or they may withdraw and try to operate alone, disconnected.  Neither of these work well and they create even further problems.  When you can maintain real contact with a person, solutions are possible that would not be seen otherwise. 

Problems with contact originated in childhood. Children often experienced dysfunction through not enough contact, too much contact or inappropriate contact.  If you suffered in any of these you understand the effect that they had. Many people have difficulty recovering from contact issues and as a result they have problems with current relationships regarding boundaries and issues about trusting themselves and others. 

Examples of ‘not enough contact’ – Deprivation in any form – not enough love, connection, being held, food, nurturing, not feeling seen or heard, too much time alone, not getting the help you need, being talked ‘at’ instead of talked to.

Examples of ‘too much contact’ - over stimulation, fighting, yelling, screaming, violence in the home, not enough rest, constant interruption, not enough privacy, too much pressure.

Examples of ‘inappropriate contact’ – unwanted sexuality, brutality, mean and hurtful behavior, hostility, shame, blame, inappropriate roles. (e.g. the child needing to parent the parent)

These problems from the past do not interfere in your current relationships once you have the ability to fulfill relationships now.  Your coping mechanisms are replaced by real skill in the course and you see immediate results.

Here are the indicators that show whether there is a problem with contact for you.          

Your basic needs in life are not being met

Your needs for companionship and love are not being met

Feeling discontent – that you don’t want what you have now

Boundary issues with others (you tend to not respect boundaries with them or they are not respecting boundaries with you, or both)

Feeling disconnected from others or life itself

Feeling that life has no purpose or that it is not worthwhile

Unusual fear for yourself or others that seems out of proportion

Anxiety

Feeling that nothing is right

Easily irritable

Ongoing relationship problems with parents or siblings

Feeling depressed

Addictions

Thoughts of not wanting to go on

A pattern of relationships breaking down at work, in friendships, or in close relationships

Not feeling able to be in intimate relationships with others physically or emotionally

Unable to trust yourself to know what to do and/or unable to fully trust another

Loneliness

Isolation

Chronically fatigued

If any of these are present you will receive great benefit from the course.  Healing occurs naturally as one gets past fear and experiences real contact with others.

The amount of contact that we have with objects and events is significant too.  It has an effect on how we feel in our life.  Too much TV, not enough recreation, too much food, not enough movement, too little touch, not enough companionship, too much arguing, not enough love – it all affects us.  We go out of balance based on the quality and quantity of contact that we are having.  This includes people, situations, environments, substances, thoughts, and physical things.

If a person had good contact as a child there may still be areas where they do not feel fulfilled.  They may have great ability at their job and at the same time have problems with emotional intimacy.  Someone else may be a wonderful lover but unable to keep a job.   A person may have deep experiences spiritually but not be able to have money. This is not anyone’s fault.  Our environment created the conditions and our parents may have had it worse or the same as we did when they were children. Their ability to feel connected was interfered with too.

People have tried to force or resist contact, change themselves, change someone else, live without others or even commit suicide to get away from the suffering of too much stimulus or not enough feeling in their connection.

With mastery in this Course one learns to be able to initiate the quality of contact they want to have with someone at any time for whatever purpose they want.  They learn how to sustain it through problems and upsets in themselves and in others, and they learn how to end contact when it is needed without injuring their self or another.  They know how to bring balance into their life for work and rest and love and fun.  Come and join us.  Create a better life for you and for all the ones you love.

Upcoming Courses:  

To Be Announced

Getting Yourself Understood

Thursday, April 10th, 2014

Do you get frustrated trying to get yourself across to others – your partner, friends, family, co-workers, and clients?  Have you felt at times that no one understands you and that maybe you don’t understand others either?  Is there a particular relationship that you are having problems in?  Being able to get yourself understood is key for fulfillment in any relationship whether it is personal or business.

Three important areas need to be working for a satisfying relationship; Communication(your ability to relate), Rapport (your quality of connection) and Reality (your authenticity).   People often feel victim to their own relationships not realizing that they can do something about them.  Not only can you do something about them, you can change them!  You have known people who put the responsibility on others to understand them and get angry when they feel misunderstood.  In ‘Getting Yourself Understood’you create ways to express yourself that leave you feeling very satisfied and able to do what is required to bring about real understanding in your relationships.

Communication and relationship skills are the highest paid skills in our society because every experience in our world is based on relationship with something or someone.Personal relationship, monetary success, and the quality of your life are directly proportional to your own ability to relate with others, your ability to express yourself, and your ability to understand them.  For personal relationship, the deepest connection is ‘souls merging’.  Under everyone’s striving to be understood is a deeper desire to be living ‘connected’ with themselves and with each other.

The next Weekend Seminar of Living from Truth and the Six-week Follow Up Program gives you the ability to say what you want to express in real contact with others in such a way that they can understand what you are trying to say. Professionally you develop unique and effective skills for making contact that you can use anywhere, anytime, under any situation.  You discover what is under your own reactivity to someone and how to handle it.  As you are able to understand others and connect to them, they become more open and available to you.  Whether it is trauma from early childhood conditioning or a block in your own ability to relate easily with others the course takes you past your barriers.  Yes, at times it is uncomfortable when you come up against your concerns and your fears, but you know how valuable it is to learn this so you go forward to develop the kind of relationships you really want.  Life is then experienced with joy through your true heart felt connection with others.

This whole workshop and the six-week Follow Up is offered to you for $100 if you have not previously attended.

We know that when you receive such personal benefit, you will understand the process and what you can attain by going on.  We can show you something that makes your life worth living in a whole new way.  By giving time, energy, and participation you experience a profound difference in your ability to live a much brighter and happier life, which you can then share with others who are important to you.  In order to attend you must give a commitment to remain in the course from beginning to end, participate fully and be willing to go past the things that are uncomfortable for you.  The course builds your ability in such a way that by the end you know that it works and you realize the power you have to change your own life. If you have taken this course, you know the value of it and that reviewing it will only deepen your capacity to live truth, love, understanding, and fulfillment.

The Next Course:  To Be Announced

For information call 604-881-6806

Life 101 – Mastering Cycles in Life

Sunday, January 19th, 2014

Everything in life occurs in cycles.  Everything. There is nothing in life that is not a cycle, except you.  Once you realize this, and you understand how it works, you can move your life however you want it to go.  Whether it is money, relationship, career, love, health – whatever it is that you want, overcoming the problems you have with cycles in your life is a key to success. 

Being able to initiate something, sustain it and complete it is how life will move forward for you.  Problems in life are always made up of incomplete cycles.  People spend years doing things because they think they should, or they think they have to, or they have too much fear to do what they want.  Our weekend is going to be focusing on what your life needs to be for you to feel really fulfilled and on what success would be for you.  It would be different for every person depending on who they are and what they really want. 

Once you know who you are, what you are interested in, and what you want to do, you begin to bring your cycles into alignment with the goals that you have and the goals feel real because they have to do with you.  This will bring the movement.  When one has a goal that means something to them, and they know they are making progress towards that goal, they will have happiness.  Did you ever want something and you notice that as long as you were feeling progress towards it you tended to feel fulfilled.  And when you got it there was a real satisfaction.

When cycles are not being completed they stack up.  This can be seen in too much stuff (clutter in the home or workplace), too many emails or phone calls not completed, communications not given, too much thinking or mind content, too much emotional upheaval, feelings of not enough time, too many cycles to do in a day, exhaustion, and too much pressure. 

Some people suffer from too few cycles.  An example is someone out of work watching TV all day and eating all day long, or spending hours on a computer to avoid other things, or sleeping because they are bored and life is not of meaning or exciting enough for them.  A result of this can be a feeling of time dragging by, not enough stimulation, joy, happiness, companionship, and any other feeing of lack. 

Another challenge is when a person is doing cycles that are not correct for them.  They will feel dead or like they have to endure something.  They may avoid a cycles that would make a real difference in their life and do things that feel meaningless just so the day is done.  They will feel tired and un-inspired, questioning what life is about and what they can do to be fulfilled.

Any cycle problems that a person has began in childhood. Their cycles of natural development were thwarted or deeply interfered with.  If you were in a home like most kids, you were you were restricted from doing some things and told you had to do other things.  You may have had a lot of pressure on you to be a certain way or experienced some kind of punishment for not meeting another person’s expectations.  Variations occur but generally most people are suffering from cycle dysfunction to some degree.  This would show up as a difficulty in initiating something you know you should do or want to do, or being unable to sustain something, or having a problem in completing things including relationships, communications, activities, responsibilities, etc.

If you take the example of money – many people know what they should do or want to do around money, but they are not able to do it.  The same with love, relationships, health, how you live your day, etc.

Here is some key information.  Anyone who is successful in any realm of life will be initiating, sustaining and completing cycles in that realm of life. 

Our deepest goals and desires are important to us and they are the force behind the choices that we make.  However, many people are not really clear on what it is they want to do or have. They chase people or things trying to get satisfaction and find they are not satisfied at all.  It is because they are not yet connected to their real inner core and their real desire or mission in life.  When the purpose for your motivation is fuzzy it messes up your ability to make choices and align your day with what you really want. People suffer from their lives being filled with too many meaningless cycles and too few cycles that fulfill their real desires.  Life feels empty and so do they.  Life loses its meaning and the person wonders why they are here.  This is a big cause of depression – feeling that you are not getting anywhere.   Life can go by for years and a person still has not done what they wanted to do. Understanding cycles lifts this burden giving you the tools and ability to move into the Director’s Chair and change the script.  You know how to do it and it is easy to do because it all comes from you.   As you align your cycles in harmony with your truthful intention, all of the universe aligns with you and life becomes a joy.  I know you have experienced it once in awhile but it gets lost in layers and layers of duties or obligations, sometimes feeling that we are giving up our soul for what we think will give us a payoff.  Now it’s time to reclaim it and do so in such a way that life and your purpose align. 

The Next Course Dates will be announced

call 604-881-6806 for more information

 

Confidence and Self-Esteem

Monday, July 22nd, 2013

The Course on Confidence and Self-Esteem in Living from Truth assists you in finding out ‘who you really are’.  Lack of confidence and low or damaged self-esteem is a condition that many people are in and it is a barrier to their own fulfillment and happiness in life.  Even if you do not feel that it is a big issue for you, to what degree do you think your own thoughts hold you back from your success, love, intimacy, and joy?

A condition of low confidence or self-esteem is created when a person confuses an idea of who they are (and what they can do), with who they really are, and what they truly are capable of.  This sets up an inner contradiction and therefore an inherent struggle.  The person bases their actions and choices on their ideas about what they think is true rather than being able to act from their true self.  Their life then does not feel real to them to some degree and does not truly represent them.  Because they are ‘identified’ with the thoughts they have about their self or their life, they often cannot even conceive of what could be available to them.  Suffering from this comes in varying degrees depending on how much the ideas of low self worth are subconsciously running their life.  It may have originated a long time ago but the solution is now.  Being free of these ideas releases you into the most extraordinary possibilities.  One can make decisions clearly and knows what to do and what not to do.  One makes progress to their goals and has a deep inner sense of who they are.

There are two kinds of happiness.  One is ‘knowing who you really are’ and the other is making known progress towards known goals.  These are linked. When your goals are not in alignment with ‘who you really are’, you will find that they do not feel fulfilling and you will have to use too much will to get them done.  This creates tremendous fatigue and something has to give.  Let’s spend the weekend and the six-week follow-up on who you are, what you truly desire, and what your value actually is. From that true and authentic reality you will be able to make the changes that you need to make and you will have the ability to go forward and do them.  Feeling good about who you are is a good and wholesome feeling.  It is true and it is real.  No one can tell you what you should think or do, but you can find it in yourself when you know what you want, and who you really are.

The Relationship Course

Sunday, August 12th, 2012

For a relationship to exist you need to be able to relate with that which is ‘other’ than you.  Whether it is a someone, or a something, if you are not in relationship with who, or what that is, what are you in relationship with?  Often we do not see the other person or thing, and we do not feel seen.  It is because we are not in relationship with what is there.  We are in relationship with what we think ‘about’ what or who is there.  Living alone in the mind is a solitary and lonely existence.  Find out what is really available with others.  It is beyond imagining.  It is true.  It is real.  And it is deeply, deeply, fulfilling. 

You meet someone at a party……… within a moment you like him or her, or you don’t.  You feel attracted or repelled, good or not good, want to be closer or further away.   If there is neither attraction nor repulsion, you are neutral, and contact occurs or it doesn’t.  There is no importance to it one way or the other unless you put significance to it or they do.  

It is like the waves of an ocean hitting the shore.  The contact is occurring through the nature of the water and the nature of the shore being with each other.  The event of their meeting cannot occur unless they are true to their own natures.  If the ocean does not exist you are not able to have something called a shore.  If the shore is not there, the ocean cannot be interactive with it.  What each of them is naturally affects the other and by being there they are destined to be together in some way.  The more deeply you can go into what you are, and be who you feel yourself to be at your very essence, the more likely you are to be with who is there for you.  

What causes ‘attraction’?  It’s not like the wave is sitting out there saying, “Boy what a great shore!  I’d really like to get together with that and see what happens.  Maybe that shore can satisfy my own desires.”

And the shore is not going “Whoa baby, what a great wave you are.  Come to me baby, lay it on me.”

Have you ever had someone attracted to you and you are not attracted to them?

Have you ever been attracted to someone but they are not attracted to you?

And what do you do with that in your own mind? What story do you have about it and what meaning do you put to it?  What type of relationship do you have with your family, your boss, your co-workers, neighbors, and society?

Whatever you desire; love, intimacy, companionship, passion, freedom, or deep success in the world, it is always based on your own ability to relate with other people.  If you improve your ability you will have a better life.  The course shows you how and takes you through the steps.  As your ability improves, you are able to choose what makes your life worthwhile.

The Next Course on Relationship - to be announced

 

Nothing but the Truth

Monday, June 13th, 2011

In the context of spiritual growth, the meaning of Truth is simple.  It is the way things actually are.  In life the meaning is the same.   Sages, ancient wise men and scripture say how things actually are based on their personal direct experience.  They are the ones who dare to seek truth beyond adopted belief systems and social programming.  Truth is not a belief, an idea or a point of view.  It is the way things actually are.  It is the truth.

Most people do not experience truth directly for themselves.  People read spiritually uplifting material that resonates or touches them within.  When it resonates within, it sounds true.  Because the words and ideas of these others affect them positively, people wish to maintain the connection to them.  They form belief systems based on what they have read or heard.  The truth is within every individual and this creates the resonance.  This is the closest most people get to the truth.  It is a feeling of affinity with the ideas. There is a desire to stay connected to the feeling and whole systems are developed in order to sustain it.  A small number of people dare to pursue the truth directly for themselves rather than living life based on what others say.  Truth seeking requires throwing out all of your previous belief systems, preconceived ideas and personal desires as to how you want things to be.  It requires that you be open and that you be willing to go into the unknown rather than trying to reinforce what you think you already know.  It requires that you commit to only The Truth.  In Yoga, the first and foremost guideline for living is non-injury.  A teacher once said, “If you have something to say that you think will hurt someone, hold it in your heart until you find a way to not hurt them.”  The heart transforms our point of view (which we mistakenly believe to be the truth) so that we can see the real truth – the absolute truth.  It will set you free of the illusion.

Hello! Welcome to My Blog.

Monday, May 10th, 2010

These photos were taken in Goa in India.  I was walking on one of the beautiful beaches and in the distance I saw a young Indian girl writing in the sand.  I had no idea what she was writing but was interested to know.  I thought it might be in Sanskrit or in Hindi.  She did not notice me as she was very intent on what she was writing.  As I walked nearer, she did not look up.  She completed what she was writing, stood and turned to look at the ocean, paused for a moment and walked away.  Here is what she had written.

Love, truth and self realization are universal.  You never know where or when you will get a message directly from love.  Love is all around you.  Remain open, breathing, loving.  Your ‘beloved’ will speak directly to you, in all of his or her many forms. He/She knows who you really are.  The Divine recognizes the Divine in you.  Know who you are and you will be happy no matter what the circumstances are.